IF: Gravity - "A Grave Situation"

I tend to be a feline of leisure, lounging on my silk sheets, taking long luxurious naps, greeting and eating visitors; but, joining the sandbox has interrupted my lifestyle. I've had to work, hell forbid, and work hard at whipping and ripping these domesticated cats into an uprising to rouse their inner hellishness. Still, there are those who refuse to budge from their comfy little catbed. I cannot emphasize enough the gravity of this situation. If those lazy lapcats don't keep up their share of the work with posts and comments, they'll end up in my backyard (as seen above). My companion will dig the hole, I'll toss your carcass in, Tinkerbell will pee on you, and I'm sure Hellcat and Mlle. Princesse will add their own unique vomits.