THE REIGN OF TINKERBELL - a poem

This is a poem by me, Tinkerbell.

prowled south turned west
boulevard of bright lights
the park is more dark
climbed up tall big tree
on people below i peed
they thought it was rain
THE REIGN OF TINKERBELL

stalked up and down pathways
grabbed at ankles and knees
someone tried picking me up
for a cozy little cuddle
i bit them and left a stinky puddle
they shrieked loud with pain
THE REIGN OF TINKERBELL

the moon large in the sky
i sit in shadows and yowl
like a demon out of hell
chiwhawhas tremble and piddle in fear
rottweilers hide their heads up their rears
humans lose minds like insane
THE REIGN OF TINKERBELL

ooops.

Poor Hellcat. All excited about posting her Valentine's Day Chocolate Mouse Recipe...she forgot to look both ways...

Crash Landing

Was it a plane crashing? A meteor hitting? An earthquake? No, it was just Crazy Piggy prancing about and tripping over her own feet. Ouchie!

Click here for an alternate version.

A Treasure For Your Pleasure, Oh HELLCAT Of Unequaled Measure

A slave with one eyeball is a happy slave, at least
that's what I demanded them to tell me as I plucked
their eyeballs out-they thanked me and bespoke of
my bravery and beauty Of course I disemboweled
the slave
who dared to
sing my many
praises
without
first paying
homage to
Hellcat of
all rage and
hellish
wisdom.

Piggy Picnic

NO queasy about murdering your Own sweet, fat little piglet with your Own claws!


If it be young, in pinching the lean between Your paws, it will break, and if You nip the skin with Your nails, it will dent. But if the fat be soft and pulpy like lard, if the lean be tough, and the fat flabby and spongy, and the skin be so hard that You cannot nip it with your nails, You may be sure it is old.

Stick Your pig just above the breastbone, running Your nail to the heart; when it is dead, put it in cold water for a few minutes, then rub it all over with its own blood and a little rosin beat exceeding fine.

The flesh of stale pork is sweaty and clammy, that of fresh killed pork, cool and smooth - so HASTEN!

WE NEED STUFFING!

I don't like

being dead-it's-

inconvenient.

ENOUGH OF THAT RECIPE THING!!!!

Now, let's talk about something more important: SLAVESSSSSS!!!!Yes kiddos! You CAN bite the hand that feeds you! Mwhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

FIRST!!!!!

Make it look like if you would want to plaaaaayyyyy! Just for fun...

Repeat after Mademoiselle Princesse: Play play play!

SECOND!!!

Grab anything you can, a finger, a toe, an ear or better A NOSE!!!!

Then chew chew chew chew!

Repeat after Mademoiselle Princesse: Grabandchew grabandchew grabandchew!!!

THIRD

Never try this if you're not sure that your slave is really your slave... Not for the young novice!

BITE! BITE! BITE!

Repeat after Mademoiselle Princesse: Bitebitebitebitebite! Mwhahahahahaha!

FOURTH:

Here is the trick. Some slaves will NOT be happy with all that, so you first have to run as rapidly as possible from your slave.... He/She will shout a bit... But all this worths it! Then you have to come back slowly, meowing innocently, and YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE CUTEST LOOK YOU CAN!

Mwhahahhahah. Your slave won't be able to resist..... And will forget.... Till next time!